Joy: I can’t wait, it’s going to be hilarious when you two get back together. I’m going to laugh so much.


Me: I just looked over, made awkward eye contact and then he checked me out. Ugh! He had a nasty rusty old truck and chops and a five o clock shadow and I was like “heck NO. You have got to be kidding me.”


Sarah: Oh, I can see you wearing skinny jeans. Without boots. Mmhm.


Elderly African American Woman [clothed in all white and looking glorious] after the door squeaked at me on my way out of the building: That door was making music for you! Weee,wee,wee

Me: well, it was making some kind of noise. I’m not sure I’d call it music…

Woman: Oh, it was music for you girl.


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