basement revelations

sometimes the world hurts.

You have PTSD.

You are becoming an alcoholic.

You are with a boy masquerading as a man.

You can hardly provide for your family [and it is growing].

You are lonely.

You are bipolar.

You are worried.

You are insecure.

You have cystic fibrosis.

You are a widow.

You are the father of a murdered, unborn child.

And you are the mother.

You are afraid.

You are waiting, always waiting.

And somedays I wonder when it will get better? It is hard to exist in the tension of the Kingdom here and now but coming and not  yet. But you know, I think that’s the beauty of community. Ingrid sends me random facebook messages about being beautiful and gives me music and scripture. Keeleh hands me random sermons. Recently I got to speak some words of encouragement to Ingrid. Chris prayed over me (and our entire group) at Brad’s the other day. That house is freaking anointed. I got to tell Sarah that someday there will be a love that does start and end in this confusion. I told Caitlin she is normal, none of us know what we are doing with our lives. This is why the Christian life is not meant to be done alone. Because while we are actively being saved from our depravity, our tendency to wallow in the unholy, we are still broken and needy. The community of faith holds us up and pushes us onward. We are always spurring each other on to God, to joy, to holiness, to heaven where we will look back and see the shadows of this world lengthen and then fade in the bright sunlight of Heav’ and there we will be the whole, strong creatures we were meant to be. We will run without broken knees across wide plains that stretch ever onward. We will drink water and it will have taste. We will dance and even the white people will have rhythm. We will eat and drink and the feast of the Lamb will be the best party ever. We will drink and not be debauched. We will see each other for the true beauty that we were created with, no longer marred by the stained world that will have passed away.

But now we wait. And we stand together to remind each other that even though sometimes the darkness is overwhelming, someday,  it will  not be so.

I hurt for the world.

But it is good to  hurt. It makes me long for home.


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